Unfortunately too many women know all about what I am blogging about here. For those women out there who have not, I pray you never, ever have to. It will be hard to lose a piece of me. A piece that adds to what makes me, me, all these years. Being a woman is something I have always taken pride in. I think I would feel different if it was because of different circumstances and while it is a choice, I'd rather it be a choice under different circumstances. I had a different choice once. About 12 years ago I was debating having a breast reduction because of the back and shoulder pain and tired of welts in my shoulders from bra straps. The plastic surgeon talked me out of it and I am glad he did. But now it's a different ball game. I thought about having one real and one fake, would I feel off balanced? What would it be like in 10 years? One saggy and one perky. I even thought about none. Then I would never need a bra and I could run around with no shirt like the boys. Something I didn't understand when I was a little girl and always asked my mom why I had to wear a shirt and my brothers didn't. No answer really felt right, to have just the right breast removed or both. The right one has to go though.
So after days of listening to my heart, I've chosen to have a bi-lateral mastectomy with diep flap reconstruction. The bi-lateral means both breasts. I am glad I chose both because we just had another little scare with my most recent MRI results. The MRI showed something in my left breast. Fortunately, Monday they were unsuccessful with the biopsy. What they found was just a cyst because fluid came out of it. I'll know more when I meet with my doctor tomorrow. The diep flap is for padding between the skin and implant on just the right breast. The diep flap means they will take tissue from my belly along with the blood vessels and move them up to create some padding because they have to take so much tissue from my breast to be sure I have clear margins. Since chemo I have lost 10 lbs but I have managed to gain 5 lbs but there still isn't much fat in my belly to take but hopefully enough. I have had my sister and brother offer me their belly fat but unfortunately I cannot use anyone else's, lol. I will also have axillary lymphnode dissection surgery (10-12 lymph nodes removed) since the cancer had spread there. This does put me at risk of lymphedema and radiation makes the risk higher. But if you have learned anything about me from me blogging, I research. So I have been researching how to prevent lymphedema even though doctors say you can't prevent it. It either happens or it doesn't. In case there are micro cancer cells, still living in there we don't want to take any risks and have them come back with a vengeance. Stage 3C was a big enough scare for me. I just want it out.
I remember when I was in high school the kids liked to spread rumors about me that I had fake boobs. I was always proud to say "no, these are mine." Pretty soon they won't be and that does sadden me. People say well you'll have perky ones now and you wont have back pain anymore but I am still losing a piece of me. To stay positive like I have been, I see this as a reward for all I've been through, to have young perky breasts again. :)
I'm too young to gamble with my life. I have talked with other young women who have had to live in my shoes who chose the same path as me and had a complete pathology report and are doing very well which is our goal. So the date is set to Nov 5th at Smillow Cancer Center at Yale in New Haven.
Thank to you everyone for thinking of us and praying for us. We are so lucky to have so many loved ones with us. <3
So after days of listening to my heart, I've chosen to have a bi-lateral mastectomy with diep flap reconstruction. The bi-lateral means both breasts. I am glad I chose both because we just had another little scare with my most recent MRI results. The MRI showed something in my left breast. Fortunately, Monday they were unsuccessful with the biopsy. What they found was just a cyst because fluid came out of it. I'll know more when I meet with my doctor tomorrow. The diep flap is for padding between the skin and implant on just the right breast. The diep flap means they will take tissue from my belly along with the blood vessels and move them up to create some padding because they have to take so much tissue from my breast to be sure I have clear margins. Since chemo I have lost 10 lbs but I have managed to gain 5 lbs but there still isn't much fat in my belly to take but hopefully enough. I have had my sister and brother offer me their belly fat but unfortunately I cannot use anyone else's, lol. I will also have axillary lymphnode dissection surgery (10-12 lymph nodes removed) since the cancer had spread there. This does put me at risk of lymphedema and radiation makes the risk higher. But if you have learned anything about me from me blogging, I research. So I have been researching how to prevent lymphedema even though doctors say you can't prevent it. It either happens or it doesn't. In case there are micro cancer cells, still living in there we don't want to take any risks and have them come back with a vengeance. Stage 3C was a big enough scare for me. I just want it out.
I remember when I was in high school the kids liked to spread rumors about me that I had fake boobs. I was always proud to say "no, these are mine." Pretty soon they won't be and that does sadden me. People say well you'll have perky ones now and you wont have back pain anymore but I am still losing a piece of me. To stay positive like I have been, I see this as a reward for all I've been through, to have young perky breasts again. :)
I'm too young to gamble with my life. I have talked with other young women who have had to live in my shoes who chose the same path as me and had a complete pathology report and are doing very well which is our goal. So the date is set to Nov 5th at Smillow Cancer Center at Yale in New Haven.
Thank to you everyone for thinking of us and praying for us. We are so lucky to have so many loved ones with us. <3